Happy Monday!

When I started this “daily musings” page back in January of 2022, I claimed that it would not be daily, which I have stuck to, and that it would primarily be about “things” that you “see,” and/or “hear” about, or even things that we do ourselves that make us scratch our heads and say: “Ah, what?” For the most part, I have also maintained that pledge as well. So, why should today, Monday June 19, 2023, be any different? Why indeed?

So, the seed-generating event that caused today’s musing occurred when I realized that I somehow forgot to buy lettuce for tonight’s salad when I did my usual weekly shopping trek on Saturday. Fortunately, there is a cute, and very nicely stocked, little “organic” market and café right across the street from where I live, which makes oversights like this a quick fix. I walked across the street and, in less that 5 minutes, I was at the cash with my purchase in hand. The woman behind the register rang up the lettuce and asked me if I wanted a bag, to which I replied, “No, thank you.” She then handed me the lettuce and said: “Happy Monday.”

Since I do most of the grocery shopping for the household, I am more than used to the obligatory, retail platitudes that are uttered, ad nauseum, on a daily basis across the country and, I am quite sure, across the globe. Although, when I had the occasion to do some shopping in Italy a few years ago, when anyone would say “Ciao, Gracie” to me, it somehow felt more heartfelt and meaningful for some reason. More-so than the dripping with venom question: “Did you find everything that you were looking for?” I am afraid that one day I will inadvertently blurt out: “No, but not because you might not have it; it’s because after searching high and low for it, as well as trying to find somebody I could perhaps ask if you carried it, I find myself here, at the register.” Or there is the even more perfunctory, “Have a Nice Day,” which, depending how it’s delivered, can mean anything from: “I hope your day is splendid, and that God or Allah enlighten your aura with every step you take” to, “Yeah, thanks for shopping here, now fuck-off there is a big line.” Of course, this is a generalization, and there are, I am sure, many people working in this industry who go above and beyond to be cheerful and accommodating, but you know, everyone can have a bad day, even you and me.

But “Happy Monday?” What the hell are you supposed to say to that? I think I muttered something like “Ah, you too, which is as lame as it gets. What was I supposed to say?” “Oh, and a very Happy Monday to you, and I hope the rest of the days of the week go swimmingly for you as well!” But making sure, of course, to come off as sincere and caring. I mean, all I bought was a lettuce for $2.19. For some reason, this happened about ½ hour ago, and it’s still running around my brain. As soon as I got home, I dutifully typed in “Happy Monday” into Google search and waited to be wowed. I thought about asking Chat GPT to write me a short essay on “Happy Monday,” but then thought better of it as I would probably get something just as devoid of any kind of feeling or empathy as the original phrase uttered at me moments ago. I read that, for a short while, “Happy Monday” was used as a replacement for “Have a Nice Day,” which had worn a little thin since its inception in 1971 when the Spain brothers, the owners of two Hallmark card shops in Philadelphia, came across graphic artist’s Harvey Ball’s 1963 smiley face in a button shop, added the slogan “Have a Nice Day,” and the rest is history, including the fact that, over the years, the phrase was used with more and more derision. But Happy Monday? Give me a break. There have been variations of this platitude over the years, but my vote goes to Peter Gibbons, the character played by Ron Livingston in the 1999 film Office Space, when he says: “Somebody’s got a bad case of the Mondays.” I suppose Clint Eastwood deserves an honorable mention when his character is standing in a diner with his huge gun in 1983s Sudden Impact, and he grunts: “Go ahead, make my day.” Not sure if it was a Monday, but it could have been.

Google did come through, though, as I found this little gem: “Why Happy Monday? It’s simple – don’t hate Mondays? It’s one seventh of your life! If you die when you’re 70, that means you spent 10 whole years of your life complaining that it’s Monday…and that just won’t do.” I think I’ll leave it at that.

Happy Monday! No, I really mean it. Can’t you see the sincerity in my font?

Los Angeles 2023