DUMBCON

Been thinking a lot these days about deserted islands. More specifically, about being shipwrecked/stranded on one and saying to myself: “I could get used to this!” I can only speak for myself, but this type of fantasizing is occurring more often than not and especially after catching up on the news.

When this idea first popped into my head, I chuckled to myself knowing that I would find exactly the right images to compliment this rant! And I also thought of the oft-used aphorism: “Life Imitating Art.” I am, of course, being very liberal with my use of the term “art” here, but movies are certainly an art form, and “Dumb & Dumber” is a movie. . .Well, you get the picture! As it turns out, there is no shortage of “art” devoted to either deserted islands, or islands that are populated but are not on any map. The earliest entry I could find was “Robinson Crusoe” (1954,1970,1973,1997, ????), the 1957 rom com, “The Admiral Chrichton,” which is actually based on a 1912 stage comedy of the same name written by J.M. Barrie of “Peter Pan” fame. Then came “Swiss Family Robinson” (1960), Lord of the Flies” (1963 & 1990), “Gilligan’s Island” (1964-7), “The Blue Lagoon” (1980), and “Castaway” (2000), among others.

I was glancing at headlines the other day, and after reading a few, I was shaking my head in disbelief and mumbling to myself: “How could anyone be this dumb?” There is no easy answer to this question, and one has to consider that what seems “dumb” to some may not seem that way to others. My response to that is: “Sometimes dumb is just dumb.” And when that level of dumbness is coming from elected officials and/or our titans of industry, then we have every right to shake our heads, unless of course you voted for “dumb and dumber,” then all bets are off

More specifically, there have been a fair number of stories about rising tensions on the world stage, wigged out leaders with itchy fingers, missile launches, nuclear warfare, and other such uplifting reading. Is it any wonder that palm trees and being surrounded by water are calling to me? I would like to think that the inevitable outcome of all this is really just me being paranoid, but…So, I decided that since a deserted island is probably not in my future, I would resort to parody to calm me down. Below you will find the Defense Readiness Condition chart (DEFCON) that was created by the US joint chiefs of staff in 1959, and below that my parody of it DUMBCON^R. You’re welcome.